


Lending A Hand

by AMWaaker



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eds racist language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-13 20:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14755970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMWaaker/pseuds/AMWaaker
Summary: This is AU - no zombies.  Sophia is a newborn, and Carol is married to Ed.  Daryl lends a hand.  Eventual Caryl.





	1. Shopping Rules

**Author's Note:**

> With one of my WIPs one chapter away from ending, I found I could not hesitate writing this idea I had any longer. This has been forming in my brain for months now. It will be a long one - probably one of the longer ones I have done. Enjoy!
> 
> Forgive me if you hate Wal-Mart, but if Daryl worked there, I would be there all the time!
> 
>  
> 
> I do not own TWD, it's characters, or Wal-Mart. If I did, I would be filthy rich.

Carol Peletier pushed her cart through the aisles at the local Wal-Mart. Sophia was latched into her infant seat in front of her and was soundly sleeping as she roamed the aisles. She looked at the list in front of her. Ed had written it himself, and true to his character had put the amount she was allowed to spend next to each item. She was not allowed to go one penny over each item's price, not even being allowed to make up one item's higher cost with another item's lower one. Store brands had been a staple in her home and while the quality was just as good, some vestige of her formerly stubborn self was smarting at the lack of choices she had in these matters.

 

She did the shopping once a week, always on Thursday afternoons after Ed came home from the bank after being paid. He would give her a list that he would draw up of the daily schedule of meals he wanted. She would itemize the ingredients needed after which he would write amounts down with no real rhyme or reason to them other than what she figured was his “best guess” and then hand over the exact amount of money he figured she needed after tax. Sometimes she had to wonder at that too, because Ed was an abusive son of a bitch, and she more than suspected that he purposely put prices on that were much lower than they cost. One time when she had not been able to get the butter he wanted for less than the two dollars he had allotted for it, she had ended up with two black eyes and a split lip. She learned to never go outside of the list.

 

She didn't know why she still did this. Well, that wasn't true either. She did this because she was stupid enough to marry Ed in the first place upon becoming pregnant. Before finding out, she had been prepared to leave him. Once that pink line showed up on the pregnancy test, she felt she owed it to stick things out with him. Her own mother had never had a man for more than a month or two when Carol was growing up. She wasn't going to offer the same for her child. So now she did this for Sophia. He was an uninvolved, disinterested father; but he wasn't abusive towards the child. She snorted at that justification. Sophia was just two weeks old. The thought that he was not abusive was ridiculous at this point.

 

She wandered down an out of he way aisle and pulled out her list. She had bought all the groceries Ed had listed, and now had to get the non-food items. Ed's deodorant, Sophia's diapers, and toilet paper. She wandered slowly through the aisles, taking her time. She wanted to prolong this outing as long as Ed would tolerate. It was the only time she was allowed out of the house now. Ed justified it by saying she just had a baby and shouldn't be out and about just yet. However that didn't stop him from making her still do all the heavy lifting at home and all the cleaning. The fact that he also made her do all the shopping was something she was determined to hide her enjoyment of. She was afraid he would take that away, or worse yet come with her. Then she would have to endure his temper tantrums at her slow pace in a public setting. She still had a healing episiotomy scar to deal with, and walking longer distances was a challenge.

 

She found Ed's deodorant and the toilet paper he favored. Now to the diapers. Sophia was a very well behaved baby at this stage. But she still peed and pooped like any infant. Ed was not happy about the cost of buying diapers. She had even offered to start using cloth diapers but he had refused. He had said that he wouldn't tolerate them being around the house soiled while she sat around on her lazy ass without washing them. He also used the vile argument that nobody was going to catch his baby wearing trailer trash jungle bunny diapers that any two cent whore could afford. God she loathed that man with every fiber of her being. She wished she had the courage to leave. He mother wouldn't help her, but there was some tiny part of her stomped self confidence that still believed she could do it.

 

She ruminated on how she would leave often. She considered it more and more the closer she got to having Sophia. But in the end, she was just too scared. Scared she would not be able to provide a roof over Sophia's head. Scared she would be a terrible mother if she was on her own, just like her own had been. So, as long as Sophia was safe, she would stay.

 

She entered the diaper aisle and started scanning the shelves. Sophia was literally on her second to last diaper. She highly doubted they would make it home before the last one was put into service. She found the store brand diapers that Ed had listed. He had allotted one package for the week for Sophia. That was a package of 104 diapers that came in at the less than $20.00 Ed had indicated on the list pre-tax. That gave an allowance of roughly 14 or 15 a day. That would cover things the way they were now with Sophia. She just hoped they stayed that way.

 

The display of diapers was running low, and the bag within her sight was slightly above her head but pushed back further than she could reach. She climbed onto the shelving at her feet to get an extra boost, but still could barely touch the package with her finger tips. She considering having to either scale the shelving or get some help when somebody behind her cleared their throats.

 

She looked back and saw a man in a yellow employee vest. He gestured to the package and said “let me help.” She could do nothing but nod because she was caught up in the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she had ever seen.

 

“Thank you” she said and smiled hesitantly.

 

“No worries. Just about to stock the display anyways. You need another package?”

 

“No. Just the one is all I can . . . all I need.”

 

“Have a good day ma'am.” he said as she turned the cart around.

  
  


@@@@@@@@@@

  
  


Daryl Dixon watched the young woman with the red curly hair and gorgeous blue eyes leave the store for the parking lot. He saw the newborn in the cart and the way she slowly shuffled away after getting her bags. He had spent enough time helping out his sister in law Andrea after she gave birth when Merle worked to know she had to have been hurting. He also noticed the ring on her finger. If she was married, what kind of ass of a husband did she have that had her carrying everything on her own? He was about to go out and help her, but the security alarm went off then, and he found himself pressed into helping security out with a couple shoplifters. When he looked up again, she was gone.

 


	2. The Offer of a Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that starts it all. This is where Carol is presented an opportunity that will change her life.

It was Thursday again, and Carol and a now three week old Sophia were wandering the aisles. Only this time Carol was sporting a pair of dark sunglasses to cover her still fading black eye. She had gotten groceries already, and was about to hit up the diaper section again. She came around the corner and saw that man again. The one that had helped her last week. This time he was stocking baby clothes. She went right by him and into the diaper aisle. This was the part that she had been dreading. Ed had only allotted $18.00 for diapers this week. Last week they were just under twenty. Sophia needed every single one of the 104 diapers found in the pack she bought before to last the week. She wasn't sure what she was going to do. All she could hope was that there was a sale going on or something. She stopped by the diapers and immediately started to panic. She was greeted by a sign that indicated the fact that cost of diapers had actually gone up to $20.54. Even the $20.00 she was allotted last week would not have done her any good. Se didn't know what to do. So she stood there, the panic within her chest growing.

 

She could not go home without the diapers. Ed was adamant about the 104 count (which Sophia actually did need) and the $18.00 she was allowed to spend on them. Her panic was still building. It was to the point now where it felt like a building was sitting on her chest. She didn't even realize it as she started letting out small whimpering noises in fear. What in Christ's name was she supposed to do now?

 

Daryl had seen the woman walk past with her baby and into the diaper aisle. He wished he hadn't just stocked it. He would have loved to have to help her again. For whatever reason, he hadn't been able to get this woman out of his head the whole week. He was getting better at talking to people now, his shyness getting lesser and lesser. Taking this job and forcing himself to talk to people had been hell at first, but eventually it worked. He could now carry on conversations with strangers confidently. He wanted his next conversation to be with her.

 

Suddenly his keen ears picked up a sound of whimpering. There were lots of kids in the store, but this didn't sound like a kid. Remembering his thoughts last week about how she had to have been hurting, he briskly walked over to the diaper aisle. He found her there cradling her sleeping baby and crying. He also noticed that she was wearing dark sunglasses. Indoors no less. Flashbacks to his own mama doing the same after a particularly bad beating from his daddy roared through his head. His heart broke for her, and he found himself wanting to once again be able to help her.

 

“Scuse me miss. Can I help you with something?”

 

Carol startled at the question and tried to hide her tears.

 

“Are you ok?” He asked quietly.

 

“Fine, thanks.”

 

“Is the baby ok?”

 

“Sophia is just fine, aren't you darling?” she responded.

 

“Do you need some help loading up diapers?”

 

“I can't . . . I don't have . . . I guess I'm not buying diapers today” she said in a defeated tone.

 

He had crept up beside her and saw the list on the cart. It plainly said diapers – 104 pack - $18.00. Lower on the piece of paper he had spied in angry letters “Don't go one fuckin' cent over the allottment per item Carol. You know I will blacken the other eye if you do.”

 

She saw that the man had seen what was written on her list and was immediately ashamed. She was ashamed that this nice man now knew what an asshole she was married to. The fact he knew shouldn't bother her so much with him being a stranger, but it did.

 

Daryl couldn't believe what he was about to do. Slowly as not to startle her he gently lifted her dark glasses off her face. She gasped, but didn't stop him. When he saw her face it was his turn to gasp. He titled his head at the note on the list. “I am assuming the prick who wrote that did that to your face. Since you are wearing a ring, I am also assuming said prick is your husband.”

 

She didn't say anything.

 

He sighed and then noticed the baby was asleep again in Carol's arms. Well, I am assuming you're Carol?

 

She just nodded, but wouldn't meet his eyes.

 

You don't know me Carol, but I promise you can trust me. Follow me, and we will get this diaper shit figured out.

 

He led Carol back to the double doors that go into the stock room. He had her wait just outside a moment. When he came back, he had a package of diapers – the exact ones she was supposed to buy – in his hands.

 

“That will ring up as $16.42 at the register. Reckon that ought to help ya out in ya situation.”

 

“I'm thankful uh (she looked at his nametag) Daryl, but I don't want you to get into trouble over me.”

 

He snorted at that. “Didn't do nothin' wrong to get me into trouble Carol. See, the manufacturers ship out pallets of crates of diapers. Some get pierced with the forklift accidentally. The damaged diapers are thrown away, but we repackage the good ones and sell them at 20% off. Most employees with kids snag those before they ever hit the shelves. Just lucky we had one in back. See? The cardboard is sealed just like it was before. You can't even tell anything happened.”

 

“Well, that's mighty sweet of you Daryl. I think you just saved Sophia and I from a ruined evening.”

 

She smiled at him then. A genuine smile, one that she had not felt unless it involved her precious Sophia.

 

“It's just a thing Carol. I understand where you are coming from more than you even know.”

 

With that he turned to walk away, but stopped. Without turning around he added “I work every Tuesday and Thursday here. Baby area. Stop by to chat next time you're in.”

 

“I'm only allowed to come on Thursdays. I will look for you then, I promise.”

 

He went to leave again, but stopped again, this time turning to face her. He wore a kind expression but inside he was livid as hell “Carol, if I ask a question to you, will I get an honest answer?”

 

“I suppose I owe the man who is helping Sophia and I out that.”

 

“Where did you get the black eye? I mean, I know what happened, but I need you to tell me.”

 

“The other day, I made a mistake. Ed my husband had warned me about not doing something. I did it anyway. He got mad so now I look like this.” She couldn't believe she was telling a total stranger this, but damn did it feel good to say it out loud.”

 

“A mistake? What kind of mistake makes the husband of a woman who has just given birth think he can do that?

 

She answered something but it was so mumbled and quiet that he didn't catch what it was.

 

“Pardon?”

 

“I burned his toast the other morning. He likes his made in the oven instead of a toaster. Sophia started crying to I left the kitchen to get her. By the time I was back, the kitchen was smokey.”

 

“Sounds bout right. Sounds like something my daddy would have done to my mama. Listen, I am part of a group that gets women away from situations like that. But you've got to be ready to leave. Are you ready to leave Carol?”

 

“I really want to. More than anything. I am just scared that I won't be able to put a roof over her head or provide for her alone. So, I'm stuck.”

 

“No you're not. Hold up, let me call somebody back here. Before she could protest he was on his walkie talke asking for somebody named Merle and somebody named Maggie. “You just hold tight there woman. We'se gonna help ya. We've all been where you are – in abusive situations. Now we get others out and help them financially until they can get on their feet. Only rule is that once you are settled that you pay it forward and get another person out and to join our group. We are all better together.

 

Just then Merle and Maggie walked in. Daryl did the introductions of them all, even Sophia. Then he started explaining things.

 

“Merle here is my brother. He works security here. Maggie is our friend. She works in the children's department. You already know I work in the baby area. We all are abuse victims in one way or another. We choose to work the departments we do so we can spot any women in crisis. And damn girl, you are married to a crisis.”

 

Daryl then went on to explain to Merle and Maggie what he had seen about Carol the last two weeks.

 

It was then that Merle piped up. “You gotta be ready to leave though sugar. You gotta leave and don't go back.”

 

Maggie added “It will be harder than you think to leave. That's one of the reasons we help each other through things. Makes not going back easier if you have a whole group of people who look out for you. Most of us are like family now.”

 

“You just need to tell us you are ready to leave. Are you ready to leave, Carol?” Daryl asked.

 

She looked at their faces. She knew they were telling her the truth. She wanted out so badly. All she had to do was say yes.

 

Carol looked straight into Daryl's captivating blue eyes and said “Yes. I am ready.”

 

Maggie hugged her and said “welcome to our family.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time we will see Carol's escape.


	3. Chapter 3 - Escape Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merle, Maggie and Daryl organize Carol's escape.

Carol had stayed in the back of the store in a little office with Sophia while Daryl, Merle, and Maggie ended their shifts early. Apparently, the store manager's wife was also a member of their group. He stopped by to say hello to her and Sophia. His name was Dale. Dale told her that once she left Ed, the group would be paying for her to come to get any items she needed to set her and Sophia up at the safe house. Once she moved into her own place, they would again pay for items she would need. He assured her that he would be helping to make sure she had everything they needed.

 

Maggie was the first of her new friends to return to the office. She was talking on her cell phone when she entered. “Merle, she's here. Print out the list to bring back here with you. Daryl is shopping for the support pack now.”

 

She ended the call and sat in a chair beside Carol. She smiled and took her hand. “I am going to tell you now so you know how things will go. This day will be one of the hardest of your life. Once you are building a life again, you will look back at it as one of the best.”

 

Carol started crying. “I'm scared. Scared of what happens. He owns everything. The car I drove here, the house. Nothing is in my name. Sophia doesn't even have a real crib yet. She sleeps in a bassinet. Ed always said we would get one when she needed it, but it hasn't happened. She only has a few clothes, and those are all back at the house. I don't own many myself, but everything is back there. I can't go back there Maggie. Ed wouldn't let me take anything. He would beat the hell out of me first.”

 

“You need to stop worrying about that Carol and let us help you. We have friends in law enforcement. They will make sure you have access to the house without Ed being there. You will be able to take what you need without him breathing down your neck. One thing the group has started to do is a checklist of questions. That is what I am having Merle bring with him. Once you fill that out, we will have a better idea of how to go about getting you where you need to be.”

 

“Where will I be Maggie?”

 

“Someplace safe.”

 

Just then Merle walked in with a sheet of paper. He placed it and a pen down in front of Carol. “You need to fill this out sugar. It lets us know what steps need to be taken and when. Would you like us to stay while you fill it out, or would you like some privacy?”

 

“Maggie can stay.”

 

With that, Merle headed for the door saying he was going to go help Daryl with the shopping. Carol looked at the questions through teary eyes.

 

_**Is your home safe? No.** _

_**Are you being abused? Yes.** _

_**Is your abuser your spouse, parent, other relative, or friend? Spouse.** _

_**Are you ready to leave your home today? Yes.** _

_**If you have children, will they be leaving with you? Yes.** _

_**Have your children been abused? No.** _

_**Do you fear for the safety of your children? Yes.** _

_**Are you prepared to initiate legal action to separate yourself and your children from the abuser? Yes.** _

_**Do you believe law enforcement intervention is necessary for you to safely leave your home? Yes.** _

_**Do you own a vehicle? No.** _

_**Do you have a criminal record? No** _

_**Do any parties have an active child custody case against you currently? No** _

_**Do you trust the people who are helping you today? Yes.** _

 

 

Carol finished the questions. She cried while answering them, but understood the reasoning behind them all. She handed the form back to Maggie, who looked it over. Maggie nodded, then called Merle. She told him to get Daryl and come back to the office with them.

 

Five minutes later, Daryl and Merle appeared, both pushing carts of bagged merchandise. She could see several packages of diapers, some baby clothes, toiletries, a crib and bedding. She looked shocked at the amount of things that were in the cart and looked up at Daryl questioningly.

 

“This is the general support pack we give for mothers escaping with children. We added the crib since Merle said Sophia ain't gone one. The only thing we didn't know about is if she drinks formula or uses bottles or anything.”

 

“No, I breastfeed, and have never pumped and used bottles. Daryl, this is too much. I know we need it all, so thank you. But I'm not sure what else to say.”

 

“No worries. Once you are on your feet, you will be paying it forward to someone else. It all comes out even in the end. Trust me.”

 

He turned his attention to Maggie and Merle. “What's the situation at now with the cops? Do we call Grimes?

 

Merle looked her answers over and nodded. “Call him. Tell him to be at Ed's in half an hour to escort him outside of the house. We will all bring Carol over and add her stuff into our trucks. I will take what we got here in my truck. Maggie, you ride with me. Daryl, you take Carol and we will all meet over at Ed's house. Officer Friendly will keep Ed in the driveway while we all pack up Carol and Sophia's things. They can go in your truck. Anything that won't fit, we can add to my truck. Any questions?”

 

Carol was shaking at this point. “I have to see him? He will be there? And what about my car here? Sophia's car seat is in it.”

 

Maggie answered for Merle. “The police have to keep him a safe distance from you, but can't force him to leave the property. They can make him wait outside. Rick Grimes is a good cop, and we work with him whenever we can. He usually keeps the abusers in the driveway while we load things up. Your car will stay here, and we will have to give Ed the keys. You can take the car seat out and strap it into Daryl's truck. It has a back seat.”

 

Carol nodded. Her head was spinning, and she was pretty sure she would throw up at some point soon, but a little ray of hope had started to shine within her. She did have one last question though. “Where are we going? You know, after? Where will we be living?

 

Daryl looked at Maggie and Merle and said “You will be going with Maggie. We are placing you at her daddy's farm.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up - show down at Ed's.


	4. House vs Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The show down at Ed's house
> 
>  
> 
> This ended up a shorter chapter. I had more written, but felt it too wordy for the situation, and took away from Ed getting his come-up-ance.

Carol allowed the passing scenery to go by unnoticed as she rode in Daryl's truck. She heard Sophia making small smacking noises from the backseat. It had been while Daryl was strapping in the base of the car seat into his truck when Sophia had made her need for boobies apparent. Daryl had walked to Merle's truck to tell him and Maggie that they were taking a few minutes before leaving, while Carol nursed Sophia in Daryl's truck. He had waited outside until Sophia was sated and Carol had been sufficiently covered up again. Then after securing the baby, they had taken off towards Ed's house.

“Strange” Carol murmured softly.

Daryl heard her though, saying “what is?”

“I was just thinking to myself that I still think of the house I have lived in for 10 months, the house that I brought Sophia into as 'Ed's house'. Seems pretty strange that I am just now realizing that I don't think I have ever called it 'home' or 'my house' or 'our house'.”

He nodded his head in silent understanding, but didn't offer any words at first. She looked over at him, and he knew he had to say something. “House I grew up in. I called it home. Didn't know what else to call it. It weren't no home though. Merle and me? We grew up there. Our mama died there. Our daddy too. Weren't until they were both gone and Merle and I got our own place that we realized what a home was supposed to be.” He left it at that, and pointed out the front window. “Merle and Maggie beat us here. Looks like Deputy Grimes is here already too.”

Carol looked, and saw the officer knocking at the front door. Ed had yet to answer.

Daryl pulled up at the curb behind the squad car and Merle's truck. Nobody got out of either truck. “We wait here until Rick gives the go ahead. Once he's explained to Ed what is going down, and gets him in the driveway, we will all go in and get your things and anything Soph has too.”

Carol watched out the window as the door opened. She saw Rick motion to Ed to step outside while talking to him, she supposed he was explaining the situation. She saw the fury in Ed's face as saw Rick's mouth continue to move. Ed came out to the yard. When he spied Carol in the passenger seat, he broke ahead of Rick yelling “what the sam hell do you think you're doing you stupid worthless cunt? You don't tell me what! I tell you what!”

Rick put a restraining arm on Ed, and hauled him off towards the driveway. “If you cannot calm yourself down Ed, I will have to cite you for making terroristic threats.”

“Eat my ball-sack deputy numb-nuts.”

“You get one final warning Ed. Calm down, or you will be placed in the back of the squad. You don't want that.”

Ed calmed down and didn't say anything else. He turned away, facing the opposite direction of Carol and her new friends. Carol, Daryl, Maggie, and Merle and Sophia all entered the property. They went inside and a few moments later emerged carrying a scant few bags.

“Drop these in my truck brother, and we will go back for the rest” Merle said.

“Um, Daryl? There isn't anything left to get. This is all Sophia and I own.”

Merle overheard that and said loud enough for Ed to overhear “This is all the two of you own? Some sorry asshole you been livin' with Carol if you pardon my french.” Merle was trying to bait Ed, and it worked.

“What is she taking? She can't take anything! I own everything. She's not taking one damn thing. It's all mine!”

“So, you's a cross dressin' type then Ed?” Merle asked holding up a lacy bra of Carol's from one of the bags.

“You asshole!”

“Ed, just tell me the bra is yours and I will instruct Merle to leave it behind for you.” Rick smirked. He was doing a bit of baiting himself, of course strictly legally.

Ed didn't know what to say. His need for possession of Carol and Sophia, of all they owned at war with his prejudiced self to even lie enough to claim ownership of the bra. He didn't say anything more, just turned back around and faced the other way again.

Carol had not addressed Ed once. She also noticed that Ed had never argued over the fact that he hadn't seen Sophia, nor had argued that she had to stay. She knew he didn't ever show the child any attention, but she thought with his blustering and posturing, he would at least make an effort. He didn't. What he did say though he said without turning around. He yelled it to Carol without facing any of them.

“Where's my groceries I sent you for you bitch?”

Daryl replied for her “They's back at the Wal-Mart you cock sucker. Do your own heavy lifting from now on.”

Ed whipped his head around, but was stopped by Rick from moving toward or addressing Carol further. Daryl packed Carol and Sophia back into the truck. As they were pulling away, Carol whispered “Uh, Daryl? I still have the cash Ed gave me for groceries in my purse.”

Daryl chuckled and simply said “Keep it. You've earned every penny. Now let's get you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, arrival at the farm.


	5. The Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl, Merle, Maggie and Rick accompany Carol and Sophia to the Greene farm.

Carol watched out the window as they left the highway behind. They had traveled a good ten miles outside of town on the two lane highway before making a right hand turn onto the gravel road they were on now. As she had several times before, she turned around in her seat to make certain that they were not being followed. She wouldn't have put it past Ed to follow them. Rick had let Daryl and Carol leave in their truck following behind Merle and Maggie. He had – true to his word – given them five minutes to put distance between Ed's house and their vehicles before leaving himself. He had used the squad's privileges to catch up to them, flashing his lights at them as a “hello again” before settling into a position of lead car. 

The dirt road was now a pretty lonely stretch, with just the three vehicles. No other vehicles pulled up behind, so Carol was assured that Ed had not tried to follow. They hadn't met any other vehicles either, and that had made Carol aware of just how remote things were getting down this road. She was surrounded by farm fields on both sides of the small two lane dirt road. Crops were predominantly present on both sides of the road. As they neared the end of the road, they turned into a long driveway that had cows grazing on the nearest field. It was then that Carol's nerves started to get to her.

She hadn't seen the house yet. The driveway had a few turns, and all she could spy was the edge of a roof line as the drive wended it's way through mature trees. What if she hated it there? Would they like her? Would they be ok with an infant as young as Sophia in the home, waking every four hours for a feeding? She thought Daryl must have read something on her face, because he took that moment to speak.

“Maggie's folks? They own this place and all the land we passed starting a couple miles back. They are good people. They love kids, so you and Sophia will be welcome here.”

“How did you know I was worried?”

He laughed a bit. “Cuz you look like you are ready to chew through your bottom lip there.”

She gave a small smile at him, and turned her focus back to their travels down the drive. Suddenly, they emerged on the other side of the tree cover, and a large white farm house came into view. She saw that there was a wrap around porch on the front, with a swing. She smiled at that. She had always wanted to have a porch swing. 

“Maybe Sophia will like rocking in the porch swing” she said, but it sounded almost like she was asking a question.

“Ain't nothin' to hate about rockin' in a porch swing” Daryl responded with a small smile of his own.

She fell into silence again, as Daryl pulled up behind Rick, Merle, and Maggie. He parked and turned off the truck. He went to push open his door when her hand caught his arm suddenly, stopping him.

“What if they don't like me?”

“Carol, I am sure they will like you and the baby just fine.”

“What if they are bothered by little babies who cry at night?”

“Hershel and Annette have cared for more babies then I can count. They were both widowed before they got married. Had a kid each – Maggie and Shawn. Then they had Beth. She's a teenager now. Maggie and Shawn are grown. Annette oversees the nursery at their church. They have taken in numerous women and their children, some of them as young as Sophia.”

She nodded, but didn't say anything. Just kept her hand on his arm, holding him lightly in place while she looked out at the house through the window. She was still biting her lip, so he said more.

“They always open their home whenever they have an extra room. Right now, you and Sophia are the only people staying with them.”

“Will there be others staying with us? Other mothers and children? Others like us?”

She sounded nervous. He thought about how best to answer her question without sounding like he was putting another decision in front of her. He then responded carefully. 

“If and only if you feel comfortable with it, will they open their other open bedrooms to another mother and child. That is one stipulation of our group. The women being protected have a say in who will be around them just as much as the host family – in this case, the Greene's.”

She nodded hesitantly, then seemed to notice her hand still on his arm. She removed it quickly, then went to open her door. They both stepped out of the truck. Carol went to open up the back seat door of the cab, but Daryl had hot footed it around the truck, and opened the door for her. She detached the car seat from it's base and lifted it out by the handle. She went over to take the diaper bag out from beside the seat base, when Daryl made to take both the bag and the car seat from her. She looked at him questioningly.

“I can get her for ya. No need for you to do the lifting when I can help. If ya want to carry her, I understand though.”

She thought for a brief moment before nodding at him, giving another small smile. This time, she seemed to be reassuring him instead of the other way around. She wanted him to know that she trusted him enough to take up his offer.

He smiled a bigger smile than before when she relented. He swung the bag up onto his shoulder and carefully took up the carrier and baby. He nodded to Rick, Merle and Maggie as they came up beside them, and the five adults and the baby made their way up the porch steps. When Carol hesitated on the first step, Maggie turned to her and took her hand. She gave it a squeeze of assurance as the front door opened.

Maybe Carol was a little biased in her thinking, but when she thought of a church going, charitable couple of the age that the Greene's must be, she was expecting that couple to be more formal or stodgy than the couple that exited the door and came onto the porch. Hershel Greene had snowy hair that must come down to his shoulders if it was not tied back as it was. His trousers and shirt were nice enough, but they were coated with a liberal dusting of flour at the moment. His suspenders may have been a favorite as they were worn but neat. They were a novelty sort – with the words “dad” and “papa” stamped repeatedly on them. His wife Annette was beside him, her apron and brown hair showing signs of the flour, wearing a white streak down the side of her face.

“I see you two were at it with the flour again” Maggie said with an eye roll and a huge smile at her parents.

“It's his fault. He had the absolute nerve to come in to my kitchen while I was baking and goose me!” Annette said haughtily.

“Not my fault you've got one of the nicest be---”

“Daddy!” Maggie interrupted what her father was about to say with a face that was turning pink. “We have guests.” She indicated to her parents to Carol and said “Carol and Sophia, these two troublemakers are my parents, Hershel and Annette Greene.”

Annette moved forward and surprised Carol by pulling her into a warm hug. “We are so pleased to be able to have you here Carol. You and Sophia can make yourselves right at home here. We hope you enjoy it here on the farm.”

Hershel nodded in agreement and came up beside his wife. “Sorry about our lack of formalities here Carol. Our children have learned quickly not to take us too seriously sometimes.”

“Formality is over-rated” Carol found herself saying with a smile before having time to get self conscious. Her response surprised both Daryl and Merle, but Maggie just smiled back at her. Rick was watching the scene with a calm that seemed to match the residents of the farm.

“Then you will fit in here just fine Carol” Maggie responded.

The group of adults all moved back on the porch towards the front door. Hershel and Annette were watching the carrier holding Sophia with big smiles on their faces.

“She's beautiful Carol” Annette said.

“What is her name” Hershel asked at the same time.

“Thank you. Sophia. Sophia Ann.” Carol responded. She leaned down and unbuckled her daughter from the straps after Daryl had put the carrier down. She hefted the small bundle up to her shoulder, and patted it. She then saw the look on the older couple's faces and smiled. “Would you like to hold her?”

“If that is ok” Annette said.

“We don't want to rush you.” Hershel was quick to say.

“It's ok. It makes me happy to see you two are so welcoming of a little one in your home.” As soon as she said it, Carol realized she had said it. The word she had never associated the house she lived in with Ed – her husband – and Sophia. Home. This was a home. It was not merely a house. She handed Sophia to Annette who motioned to the kitchen. She watched as Maggie, Hershel, Rick and Merle followed behind Annette to the kitchen.

Daryl watched as Carol calmly handed her newborn infant to the Greenes. The two of them slowly followed behind the bigger group to the kitchen. “Welcome home” he told her quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up - a quiet chat between Carol and Rick.


	6. Rick's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty dark. Rick shares his own surprising story involving his family. Warnings for stark tales of abuse and some OOC descriptions of Lori. Since this is AU, I can take liberties.

Carol was finishing up the last of her bowl of Annette's home-made chicken and dumplings and watching Hershel with Sophia. The Greene patriarch had taken to her daughter very quickly, and when Sophia had started fussing as soon as dinner started, he had assured Carol that he would settle her while everybody ate. He had been true to his word, and the baby was now sleeping in his arms.

She knew that Daryl and Merle were surprised at how at ease Carol had been with her words earlier to the older couple. Honestly, she was too. However something about the couple and especially Hershel had felt comfortable to her. Just as comfortable as she felt around her new friends/rescuers. Daryl, Merle and Maggie had stirred feelings of immediate trust within her – not something she easily gave. Daryl especially had put her at ease. The only person she didn't quite know how to read yet was Rick.

Sure, the deputy had shown fearlessness when he had gone to bat for her and Sophia with Ed, but honestly that is all she knew of him. What was his story? She remembered Daryl saying that all members were abuse victims. Was Rick a member, or just a group ally? Almost as if the man was psychic, he looked over at her and nodded. She nodded back. He then stood up and whispered something to Daryl. Daryl looked over at Carol and nodded to Rick. He then stood up and walked over to her.

“Rick wanted to know if it was ok with you to talk to you alone in private. I will keep an eye on Sophia – if Hershel ever lets go of her that is.”

She balked for a second, and he caught on to her hesitation immediately.

“You don't gotta worry none about Rick. He's a good man. He's one of us.”

“One of us? You mean he's a member?”

Daryl nodded. Well, that answered her question about Rick she thought. She gave herself a quick mental pep talk. She reminded herself that the only way she would be able to learn more about her new friends is to talk to them. Even alone. It was the last part that gave her hesitation. She had not been alone since she talked to Daryl today. She had been surrounded by the surprisingly warm comfort of her three new friends. She had wrapped herself in the comfort they had offered so readily. Even when her and Daryl were in the truck on the drive, she felt the presence of Merle and Maggie in the next truck. She then flashed on the idea that if her and Rick talked, maybe she would have a fourth to that list of friends that was already growing with the addition of the Greene's. 

She nodded back to Daryl and stood up as well. Rick started walking out the front door and Carol followed him outside. He didn't stop at the porch however, and she followed him down he steps out to the front yard. He stopped by the big weeping willow that was in the front yard. He looked like he was gathering his thoughts to say something, so she let him do so without interruption. Finally he spoke.

“I wanted to talk to you alone. I hope that is ok?”

“It's fine. Before you say anything though, I wanted to thank you for what you did for Sophia and I with Ed. I know you probably have a lot of experience dealing with men like him, but for us that was a big deal.”

He nodded a second, looking like her words had set back what he had planned to say. He took a moment before speaking again.

“I heard Daryl tell you that I am a member of the group. But I know he didn't tell you why.”

She nodded and he continued.

“What I am about to tell you will be hard to hear. Hell, it's still hard for me to tell. First thing you should know about me is that I am a single father. I have two kids. Carl and Judith. Second thing you need to know is the reason I am a single father.” He took a deep breath and continued. There was a slight shake to his words, the first time that Carol had seen him anything but calm.

“My wife Lori was a good woman. She was a good mother to our son Carl, and was thrilled when she got pregnant again. We had been trying for two years, since right after Carl was born. We both wanted a house full of kids, and started trying as soon as we could after he was born. Lori was willing to have back to back pregnancies in order to allow us to have at least four kids. Around the time she was three months pregnant with Judith, she suddenly changed. It was like a switch was flipped it was that sudden. I had been working the afternoon to evening patrol. I came home one night about midnight. I no sooner walked in the door when she launched herself at me. She started hitting me and telling me what a horrible person I was. How I had ruined her life. How I was the devil. She then went into our room and locked the door. She wouldn't come out and I slept on the couch from that night on. The verbal and physical abuse continued on an almost daily basis and got so bad that I honestly began thinking of leaving, but I stayed for Carl. She was still a good mother to him, and I thought he needed her and I to be together. Now what I want to impress upon you is the fact that I never reported it. Not only that but I actively began taking boxing at the gym; taking spar matches against bigger guys who would punch hard. Anything to cover up the fact that most of my bruises were caused by my wife.”

He took a long shaky breath and continued.

“The day that she laid hands on our son was the end for me. Carl was not yet three, but he was mostly potty trained. He had accidents occasionally still. She had given him welts on his bottom and had hit him hard with a metal serving spoon on his penis after he had wet himself. When I came home, he was curled in a corner of his room in the fetal position. That was the final straw for me. I called my partner Shane who was also my best friend. He helped me and Carl out a lot that night. He arrested Lori. When he took her to the station, she started raving about how I was the devil and that Carl was the devil's spawn. She said that the voices were telling her that Carl and I were trying to get her to kill herself. He immediately brought her to the psych hospital in Atlanta. When they examined her, and took her history from me over the phone, they were suspicious of how quickly her violence had began and then escalated. They brought her in for scans and found a mass in her brain.”

Carol started tearing up. She put her hand on Rick's arm and gave him a gentle squeeze. The contact seemed to give him strength because he stopped shaking and straightened his spine before continuing.

“The tumor is what had made her psychotic. It was in a place that would not be able to be removed. Survival was put at less than two years. Due to the pregnancy, they had to keep her restrained most times so she would not harm herself or the baby who she was by then convinced was also the devil's spawn. She was hell bent on killing the baby and then herself. All medications that were safe for the baby failed, so she remained psychotic and suicidal. I visited Lori often, but she never saw Carl again. She was still threatening to kill him as well, and I didn't want him exposed to her ranting death threats that she was still leveling against us on visits. Judith was born via c-section at Grady Memorial. The doctors were able to put her under to deliver the baby safely because those medications were not a danger to Judith. There was some mix up with Lori's care when she came back from the recovery room. She was supposed to still be on psych watch and listed as a suicide risk. She was supposed to be in restraints or heavily sedated. None of that happened. I was with Judith in the nursery when it happened. Lori woke up, went into the bathroom and hung herself with her bathrobe tie around the overhead light fixture.”

Carol cringed at the absolutely awful story he told. She didn't know what to think about his motivations for telling her this. Surely his situation had nothing to do with hers as far as motivations of abusers. Lori's abuse had a physical reason. Ed's didn't. Again, she thought Rick must be psychic due to what he said next.

“I told you all this for a few reasons. One of course to let you know that myself and Carl and Judith were victims of abuse. Lori had a physical reason for her violence, but was still an abuser. Second to show you that even men . . . hell, even cops can be victims. Third to prove to you that you are not alone in not reporting abuse when it happens.”

She stood feeling shell shocked not only by his story, but by how much she suddenly knew she could trust this man. She could trust him with her story of abuse. She slowly reached over and took his hand. She cleared her throat before haltingly speaking.

“Thank you. For sharing your story of course, but for also showing me you understand me not reporting Ed. I still don't understand totally why I didn't, other than fear.”

“When it comes down to it, fear is the only reason why victims don't tell. Fear of their abuser, fear of reaction from others, fear of the unknown. It all comes down to fear in the end. Everybody has stories. We all do. Merle, Daryl, Maggie – they all have stories. So does Hershel.”

“Hershel was abused?”

He nodded. “Everybody has stories here. It is not my place to tell you them. Every victim of abuse needs to be able to tell their own stories to whomever they trust. It is also not my place as a member to ask you yours for the same reason. I've seen the answers to the questions on the sheet you filled out. Anything else is up to you to share. However, I do want to tell you one thing. Speaking as a cop, not as a member of this group – I want to let you know it is not too late to press charges against Ed.”

She shrunk back into herself with fear immediately at the suggestion.

“Fear Carol. I see it in you. Fearful or not, it's still an option. Just know that we will all be here for you whether you press charges or not. But don't let the fear rule you.”

With that he reached for her hand again and led her back up the path, up the front porch steps and into the house. Back to the rest of her new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up – Carol's first night at the Farm.


	7. The First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not very action packed. After the day of hell for Carol, I wanted some home spun comfort for our favorite newly single mother. What is more home spun comfort than baking with Annette? So, here Carol bakes while learning some new things about her friends.

Light was rapidly being taken over by twilight on the Greene farm when Rick and Merle left. Rick had to get back to his kids, who Carol quickly learned were being babysat by the Greene's youngest daughter Beth at the Grimes home. Merle had left to be with his family about an hour previously. Maggie had gone upstairs to study shortly afterwards. That was when Carol learned that she was a full time student at the university forty five minutes away. Daryl stayed though. He stayed, and helped Hershel and Annette gather up all the dishes left from their dinner. She assumed he would be leaving, but was surprised when he instead started hand washing the dinner dishes alongside Hershel. Annette had handed Sophia back over to Carol to nurse, assuring her that the blanket kept her sufficiently covered to remain in the dining room with the rest of them.

“No need for you to skulk off to the bedroom to feed your child Carol. Lord knows there was a time where that was considered the proper thing to do. I learned when Beth was little that too many wonderful conversations happen after meals to miss. So, make yourself comfortable, and stay with us.”

Carol shot a look at Daryl and Hershel, who didn't seem to be put out at the suggestion. She shrugged, and took Annette up on her suggestion. While she was feeding Sophia, Carol had noticed the bunch of dusky bananas that were on the counter. She smiled.

“Were you planning on making banana bread or something?”

Annette's quizzical expression followed Carol's line of sight to the bananas that were definitely past their prime. She chuckled. “They were supposed to be for Beth's lunches. She begged me for them relentlessly, but then of course as soon as I got them she didn't eat them. Why? Do you like banana bread?”

Carol nodded. “One of the few domestic things my mother ever did was bake. She only knew a couple of recipes, but I used to love making banana bread with her. That bunch is perfect for bread.”

“Well, I bake a lot – mostly with fruit from our trees. I don't think I have made banana bread since Hershel and I have been married. I should be able to find a recipe around here though. If you want, I can make some for you?”

“Not much to it. I remember my mom's recipe. If you have the ingredients, I would love to make it for you. I want to help out with things while I am here. I don't know how to cook very many things, but the things I do cook are ok.”

Annette busied herself checking for the ingredients Carol rattled off. She set them all aside on the counter and got out a pan. “While the men do some cleaning up, why don't you teach me what you know?”

That little conversation is how Carol ended up in Annette's kitchen baking bread after finishing nursing. The two women were having fun watching the men do all the busy work while they mashed bananas. Carol's gaze kept flickering to Daryl. Honestly, she was afraid of what would happen when he left for home. He had been beside her all afternoon through everything with Ed. She liked the Greene's and was pretty comfortable around them, but she would be less than honest if she was looking forward to him leaving.

Annette seemed to catch on her her worry. She decided to put Carol's worries to rest a bit.

“Hey Daryl? How is the fencing coming between our properties?”

That did the trick. Daryl turned around and smiled. “Goin' ok. The bottom rungs have to be reinforced a bit still. I've got the other sides done, just the one along our boundary left.”

“You live next door?” Carol asked incredulously.

“Sure do. Used to live here in the house. So did Merle. We both got ourselves a couple acres now that we bought from Hershel and Annette. My house was built a few years ago – same time as Merle's. Mine's on the South east side where we drove in from. Merle's is on the South west side of here. It's across the road from mine.”

“Daryl and Merle work for me here on the farm three days a week and at the Wal-Mart twice a week” Hershel explained. Got so used to them living here with us, didn't want them to leave all together once they were grown. So, we convinced them to build here on the land instead.”

Carol took a moment to digest this new information as she mixed in the flour, sugar, nuts, eggs, vanilla, salt and baking soda. Her gestures weren't lost on Daryl who stepped over closer while drying his hands. Merle and I lived here from the time I was eight and Merle was seventeen when our parents died. Merle left for awhile for the army, but came back when I was twelve. We lived here on the land ever since.”

Carol put the mixture into pans and Annette put them in the oven. “So, this land is the 'home' you were talking about earlier?”

He nodded. “I still have dinner here most nights. Merle doesn't usually. He goes home. His wife Andrea stayed here briefly once. That's how they met. They've got themselves twin boys – Damien and Noah. They are bout the same age as Rick's daughter – just about three.”

Carol's head was spinning at all the connections this group seemed to have. “She stayed here?”

“Yep. She was married before to a politician. Had a real wealthy life. She's a lawyer but gave it up to be a wife to him. Wasn't long before he showed he weren't no kind of real man, and she left. She had heard of our group from Dale. He's her uncle. She stayed here while the divorce went through. Then her and Merle started datin', and she never looked back.”

Hershel took this moment to interject a point that Carol was already picking up on. “We are a close knit group Carol. We try to all help each other out in life. We are there for each other. In some cases, this group is the only family some of us have.”

Carol just nodded and went about doing busy work cleaning up the surfaces where she had been working. She needed to gather her courage a bit before bringing up what was on her mind. So, she just continued straightening things up and helping out with drying dishes.

Later, when Daryl had gone upstairs to finish assembling Sophia's crib, Carol had the courage to bring up her question to Annette.

“Merles wife . . . Andrea . . . did she ever go back to being a lawyer?”

“Sure did. Not like what she did before though. She used to be a civil rights attorney, that is how she met her first husband Phillip. Now, with everything she had to go through and seeing other people in our group – new members mostly – struggle, she now focuses on family law.”

Carol nodded. She couldn't get the words out to her thoughts just yet. So Annette waited. When she did speak, it was in an even more hesitant manner. “Did . . . .did she press charges? Against her first husband that is?”

“She sure did.”

“Did it work?”

“Depends on who you ask. If you ask Andrea it worked. Because she was able to get out of that hell of a marriage. Phillip got a slap on the wrist, but she gained her freedom. Why do you ask honey?”

“I think I want to talk to her and Rick again. I want to press charges.”

Annette gave her a big hug of comfort. She held her breath against what she was hoping would be coming next for Carol's sake. When nothing came, she resigned herself to the fact that Carol was just not ready for the next step. That was until she went to step away and Carol stopped her. Carol looked up into the eyes of her new friend and Annette swore she could hear the woman's courage grow.

“Annette?”

“Yes dear?”

“I want a divorce.”

Just then Daryl came downstairs. He heard what Carol said and smiled at her. Both he and Annette spent the next few moments reassuring Carol that they would all be there for her and Sophia. By the time Carol left the room to start to get ready for bed, she knew that come hell or high water, she would not be tied to Ed Peletier a moment longer than it took for the legal process to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter – Daryl reflects on the situation with Carol as he lays awake.


	8. Three AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some insight into what Daryl and Carol are thinking on the first night of Carol’s freedom.

Daryl tossed and turned in bed for at least an hour before getting up and turning on the lamp beside his bed.  It was useless.  Sleep just would not come.  He was tired, there was no doubt about that.  Any time he assisted somebody with leaving their abusive situations he had trouble sleeping.  It brought up so many memories for him that his mind just wouldn’t settle.  Today had been no different.

 

He found that he was enjoying his time around Carol.  She seemed to be more open to changing her situation than most women they helped.  Most women who left had to be convinced to stay gone, no matter what hell they would be returning to.  He couldn’t count the number of times that a new placement ended up calling their husbands or boyfriends up the first night and apologizing for leaving.  They would end up going back of course, and sometimes the group never heard from them again regarding leaving again.  There were a couple cases that where the woman would leave again and get help from them, but not nearly as many as those who just faded away in their abusive homes.  He hoped that Carol would stay gone.  He thought she would.  Pressing charges was a pretty good indicator, and he was glad she was planning on doing so tomorrow.

 

He grabbed the book beside his bed and tried to focus on the words; willing his mind to settle down and not worry about what was going on at the Greene’s house.  First nights were always rough for the women who left.  Even if they were adamant about staying gone, the transition was always hard.  He tried not to remember his first night at the Greene’s as that would make him remember what had happened earlier that day.  He didn’t want to think about his mama right now, and he certainly didn’t want to think about his piece of shit daddy.  Again, he tried to focus on the words of the book Dale had given him, but he just couldn’t.  Finally, he tossed the boring ass book aside and got up.  He walked into the kitchen of his house and fixed himself a bowl of cereal.  It was three am.  He might as well eat breakfast early and get to work.  There was no going back to sleep now.  He started work on the farm at six.  That gave him a couple of hours to putter around on more fence supports in the garage.

 

As he ate, his mind drifted to Andrea.  He knew that his sister in law would be able to help Carol out as far as a divorce and custody case went.  He wasn’t worried about that.  What he was more worried about is how Andrea’s bawdy personality would mesh with Carol’s quieter persona.  He wanted Carol to feel comfortable enough to open up to her, and sometimes Andrea’s brashness tended to turn some people off.  He resolved to talk to Merle about it today.  See what he thought.  Merle was a good judge of character, and if he thought there would be an issue with Carol, then Daryl could trust his instincts.

 

Finishing up his breakfast, he walked out into his garage and started working on the supports.  His body at work succeeded in calming his mind, and he was quickly at ease again.

 

twdtwdtwdtwdtwd

Carol had finally fallen asleep.  She had slept for about twenty minutes when Sophia made her hunger known.  She woke to her daughters cries and rushed to comfort her immediately.  She was so used to Ed pitching a fit if Sophia woke to be fed and cried that she out of habit rushed to the infant as quickly as possible to settle her.  She took the baby downstairs to feed her where she wouldn’t wake the rest of the house.  She was surprised however to find that she was not alone down there.  Maggie was sitting in a chair in the living room.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize anybody would be down here this early” she apologized to her and moved to bring Sophia to another room.

 

“It’s ok Carol.  Sit.  Feed Sophia.  I could use the company.”

 

Carol nodded and sat.  She covered herself in the blanket Sophia had been swaddled in, and promptly started to nurse her.  She looked over at Maggie and noticed that she had a funny, far off look on her face.  She glanced at the clock seeing it was three in the morning.

 

“You’re up late.  Or are you up early?  Not sure what hours you keep being a student and all.”

 

Maggie nodded and smiled a small smile.  “Up late.  Finals are coming up.  Had a lot of studying to do.”

 

“What are you studying?”

 

“Agriculture Management.  I grew up here on the farm and want to run it one day.  Figured if I had a degree it would help bring things into the future here as far as technologies.  Daddy is pretty old school.”

 

“Sounds interesting.  I always wanted to go to school but didn’t have the grades for a scholarship.  No money for tuition either.  I didn’t want to be saddled with student loans, so I just went right to work after high school.  I want to though.  Someday.”

 

“You can you know.  Go to school?  Once you are on your own, you can qualify for financial aid and go.  If you want, I can bring you some forms back to fill out.”

 

Carol nodded at her a bit hesitantly.  Maggie noticed. 

 

“Sorry Carol.  I don’t mean to throw one more change into your life.  Lord knows you have enough to deal with right now.  You just let me know if or when you are ready.”

 

“I am such a coward.”

 

“Why would you say that?  I see a woman before me who has within a day’s time has left her abusive husband, protected her daughter from future abuse, planned to file charges, and decided to get a divorce.  That’s no cowardly woman.”

 

“If I would have been less cowardly, I would have said no to Ed when he insisted we get married.  I would have left and taken Sophia away to raise her by myself.  I wouldn’t have brought a baby into that hell of a house.  If I was less cowardly, I would have bit the bullet and taken on student loans.  Taken a chance in life.  I see behind me so many opportunities I had to NOT go down the road I am on now.  But I didn’t.  So here I am.”

 

“Here you are.  Making the bravest choices now.  Doing all you can.  Starting a life – a real life – instead of just surviving.  Trust me, nobody is brave all the time.  It takes a lot for me to make brave choices.  I am a member of this group.  You know what that means.  I’m not even brave enough to tell the wonderful, sweet guy I am dating about what I do for this group.  I can’t tell him about my past.  Right now, I could be brave and suck it up to tell you why I am a member.  But I can’t.  Not yet.”

 

“I don’t think I could either to be honest.”

 

“But you have just left your situation Carol.  I have had two years.  Two damn years to digest what happened to me.  To live with it.  To do right by myself and Glenn and tell him the truth about myself and the work I do here.  If I am being honest with myself, then I would call myself a coward.”

 

With that, Maggie got up and went upstairs.  She didn’t glance back at Carol and didn’t stop.  Sophia was finished nursing, so Carol burped her and wrapped her back up in her blanket.  She carried her back up to her crib in the room next to her own.  She climbed back into bed and for the first time, really started to wonder what kind of personal hell that each of the people living on this land had gone through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we get back into the action with a little appearance from Ed.


	9. Charges Pressed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed’s showdown with the law and with Carol. All statutes listed and their punishments are legitimate to Georgia Law.

Carol, Daryl and Andrea were sitting at Rick Grimes’ desk at the King County Sheriff’s Department. It was now four pm, and Rick’s colleagues had been out looking for Ed Peletier for three hours now. It had all started with Carol announcing the night before that she wanted to press charges and get a divorce. The day had dawned with Daryl getting assurances from Merle about Carol’s would-be reaction to Andrea. In true Merle fashion, it had been blunt and crude.

“Damn little brother. Carol may have been a little mouse livin’ in Ed’s house, but she’s got fire to her. She shocked the hell outta me with her reactions to Hershel and Annette yesterday. If’n she’s ready to pull the trigger on this shit, then she’s got more spunk than you give her credit for. She and Andrea will get on just fine.”

Daryl had to admit he was right. After that little talk, Daryl had brought Carol over to Andrea’s. While he wrestled with the hellions that were his twin toddler nephews, Andrea had quickly drawn up paperwork for a restraining order and a divorce petition. Then the three of them (once Merle spelled them with the twins) had jumped in Daryl’s truck to meet Deputy Grimes at noon. Carol had sworn out a complaint, and by one pm Shane Walsh, Leon Basset, and three other deputies were out hunting for Ed, armed with a list of his usual drinking haunts provided by Carol. Ed must not have wanted to be found though, because it was just creeping past four pm and no word on his arrest.

“Don’t worry Carol. We will find him. We won’t stop until we do.” Rick had just uttered these words when Shane’s voice came over the radio. “We are en-route with suspect you been waitin’ on Grimes. We’ll be adding to his charge list once we get to the station.”

“Copy that. What’s the charges?”

“That will be a 16-5-21 times two as well as a single count against statute 16-6-12.”

“Is everybody ok?”

“Yep. See you at the house in five minutes.”

“Translation please Rick?” Carol asked.

“Ed assaulted two deputies. Apparently, he was also found in the company of a known prostitute.”

“More charges then?”

“More charges makin’ him keep his ass away from you and Sophia” Daryl answered.

“With the three charges for assault against your person, the two for assault against peace officers, and the one for pandering, he will be looking at some serious jail time Carol” Andrea reassured her.

“But how much? How long will I have until I am living in fear again?”

“You ain’t ever gonna have to live in fear of him again Carol. Merle and me already talked. No matter how much time he gets, we’re gonna teach ya how to take care of yourself. Teach ya anythin’ ya want. Hand to hand fighting, self-defense, gun training, my crossbow, knife training. It’s up to you woman.”

“That’s wonderful of both of you Daryl. But honestly, can you see me being strong enough to stand up to Ed like that?”

“Sure can. Up to you what you want to learn. If that piece of shit gets out and is stupid enough to go after you or Soph? Well, we’ll make sure you are ready to grant him a newly formed asshole.”

Despite herself, Carol couldn’t help but smile at that image. As the image got more detailed in her brain, she even found herself chuckling a bit.

“Better watch this one Grimes. Think she’s cacklin’ over here.”

“I was lightly laughing. Not cackling Daryl Dixon. Now why don’t you just – “

Carol’s words stopped then. Her ears had caught a familiar voice yelling as he was being hauled through the doors of the station. Ed was still resisting, even though he was cuffed and had two deputies leading him inside.

“Best add a count of statute 16-10-24 to the complaint there Rick” Shane said upon entering behind Ed and the two officers leading him.

“Resisting arrest” Andrea translated. “That’s five years in itself Carol” said Andrea.

Ed heard Andrea speak her name and whipped his head around to see her. “What are you doing here you cunt! You know what I’m gonna do to you? Your worst nightmare wouldn’t cover it. I will kill your ass Carol!”

“Now that’s a violation of statute 16-11-37. Making Terroristic Threats. Punishable by no less than five years and no more than 40 years. Carol, you won’t be seeing this menace for a good long while I reckon” Rick smirked.

“Fuck you Grimes. I’m gonna beat your ass as soon as I can. You are gonna be a puddle of blood when I am through with you.

“That’s another count of Making Teroristic Threats against you Ed. You shoulda listened to the Miranda Warnings you were given.”

Ed thought for a minute on how to get out of this bullshit trouble he was now in. He brightened a moment then said “They never read me my rights.”

Carol paled for a moment – visions of thrown out charges dancing in her head.

“Deputy Grimes?”

“Yes Leon?”

“Sir, as you requested, we have both dashcam footage and audio tape recording of the Miranda Rights being read to Mr. Peletier.”

Rick nodded at Leon Basset and turned back to Ed. “So, Ed. Ya swung and missed on that no reading of the rights bs. Now, I would like to introduce you to somebody you will be getting to know very, very well. This is Andrea Dixon. She is representing your soon to be ex-wife. She has drawn up papers today to get a restraining order for Carol and Sophia as well as a divorce petition. Now, the criminal charges? That will be up to Michonne Reynolds. Let me tell you this now, and paint ya a pretty picture of your future Ed. She will take no prisoners. She will fight until your ass is in prison for as long as legally possible. So, let me show you to your new home – a cell here at King County Jail. You will reside here until after your trial and sentencing. At which time I am more than certain you will be trading our hospitality in for a 9x9 cell for two at the State Prison up in Newnan.”

Ed broke then. He didn’t yell. Quite the opposite. He started blubbering like a baby. Begging Carol not to do this to him. Daryl watched Carol’s face through it all. He saw her gain strength during the chain of events since Ed walked in the door. Saw the way she hadn’t cowered when Ed threatened her. How she had sat up straighter and straighter as she learned of his possible sentences. Now that he was bawlin’, she stood up and walked closer to where Ed was still restrained. She looked him up and down and finally opened her mouth to speak.

“I find this really funny Ed. You made my life hell. Now, with the help of the law, I am going to make sure that your life is hell. With any luck on my part, you will be raped repeatedly. Rape is a special kind of hell Ed. You should know. You created that hell for me more times than I can count.”

With that she turned her back on her soon to be ex-husband and rejoined a stunned Daryl and Andrea at an equally stunned Rick’s desk.

Daryl turned five shades of red in anger. “You raped her? You piece of shit!” He turned to Rick. Any way to get charges on him for that too? It weren’t in Carol’s statement.”

“If she wishes to press charges on that, then yes.”

“Damn right I will. How much more time will that get him Rick?”

“Statute 16-6-1. Rape. Punishable by death, imprisonment for life without parole, or punishable by imprisonment for not less than 25 years, not to exceed life imprisonment. For each count. How many counts are we talking about here Carol?”

“Too many to count. After we were married, we ‘had sex’ on the regular. Not one of those was consensual.”

“Hear that Ed? With the amount and severity of the charges against you, you just might be lookin’ at a visit with Old Sparky.” Shane Walsh had found it too fun not to impart this piece of information as he hauled Ed off for booking and then to the holding cell.

“Leon? Get you and Walsh over to see Dr. Siddiq asap. Document every wound Ed inflicted on ya. Every scratch, ya hear?”

Leon nodded and went to tell Shane their orders. Rick sat back down in front of Carol, Andrea, and Daryl. He sighed and put his face in his hands. “Michonne and I will come out to the farm later in the week to take your statements regarding the rapes. Might make it easier on ya if done there. I don’t want to lie to you Carol. Everything that happened is going to necessitate a trial. That won’t be easy for you.”

“Don’t worry about me Rick. I will be there. I will tell the truth about everything that son of a bitch did to me.”

Daryl was proud of her. He grasped her shoulder and squeezed it in support. “Ya won’t have to do it alone either Carol. I will be there. So will Maggie. Merle and Hershel and Annette will want to ok it with you, but I know they would want to be there too.”

Carol nodded. The fact that everything had moved so fast made the reality of her situation just come sinking down to her. “I just realized something Daryl. I asked for support in the divorce. With Ed in jail, that’s not possible now. I don’t really care, but I need to be able to support Sophia. I guess it’s time I talked to Maggie about starting school to get a good job with a good income. In the meantime, not sure what I will do for work while going to school.”

“I do. Hershel already said he was gonna offer ya a job at the farm to let you lay low for awhile if you wanted. Now that Ed’s behind bars, you have other options.” He smiled a bit before continuing. “Ya know, they are always hiring at the Wal-Mart.”

His smile while he delivered her options did it. Carol started to smile. She didn’t stop the entire way home to the farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up:  
> Carol has some decisions to make.


	10. Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows Ed’s arrest. I wanted to give a recap of the story as well as move it forward with a new character (an OC). Let me know what you think!

Carol had stopped talking to Daryl a couple minutes ago. He knew he hadn’t done anything wrong, and honestly, he didn’t think her silence had anything to do with anger. Instead it seemed that quiet reflection was the order of the moment for Carol. She had been staring out the window, taking everything in on the drive back to the farm. He had turned into the long driveway that led to the farm, and was patiently waiting her out. He didn’t have to wait long for her to speak.

“It’s funny.”

“What is?”

“Just remembering our last drive here. Talking about how I had only had a house before and not a home. God, was that just two days ago? Seems like it should be a lifetime judging by the changes in my life since we were last here.”

He nodded in understanding, but didn’t say anything as she continued.

“I walked into that Wal-Mart with just Sophia. I knew when I did that I was only going to have a short respite from Ed. Just only as long as he would tolerate me shopping. She was the only one I had, and honestly the only one I cared to have in my life. Walked out of there with three new friends ready to leave my husband.”

“Your piece of shit husband. He weren’t no real husband Carol. I real husband, hell a real man don’t do the stuff he did to ya.”

She continued her thoughts without acknowledging what Daryl had just said. “I walked out of there not knowing what my world would become, but knowing it was going to be better because you three were in it. Strange since I didn’t know ya’ll really.”

“Not so strange to me. I think that with people like us – people who have lived through what we did, that we can always sense each other. At least a little. Made me know enough to know ya needed to get out.”

“So, I entrusted myself and my newborn daughter to three strangers. Met another stranger – Rick who stood beside us with the strength of the law. Then met two more in Hershel and Annette. The six of you have been there for us. Now Andrea . . . . . her boys, and even Beth by extension. That’s ten people I never knew before I walked though those doors. Ten people that have taken me and Sophia under their wing and would treat us like family if I let them.”

“Will you?”

“Will I what, Daryl?”

“Let us?” Then he said more definitively as he pulled into the yard in front of the porch, “Let us. Let us be your family. I know we ain’t your blood. But family isn’t always that.”

She turned to him and started to nod, then shook her head, then laughed. “Don’t have much choice, do I? You all already are. I am sure you noticed I didn’t run to my mom when things got bad with Ed, Daryl. She was never a proper mother to me. Not sure she knew how. The few good memories I have of her are when we were baking. And I never knew who my father was. Knew I never wanted to be that kind of mother. Wished I had a father. But wishing never made it so. So now I choose to have a home – not a house. And I choose to have a family of my choice.”

She then turned to get out of the truck. Daryl had to sit there for another second or so to get his thoughts on track, then jumped down to join her in climbing up the big white porch steps.

As they were walking up, they heard the unmistakable sound of Sophia’s loud cries. They had been gone longer than they thought they would have been. Carol and he had stopped back at the farm briefly before meeting up with Rick to allow her to nurse the infant, but without the benefit of Carol’s breasts, Sophia obviously wasn’t happy. Annette had assured Carol that the infant formula and bottle that they had on hand at the farm would be put into use if need be. They rushed through the door, Carol’s breasts already leaking under her bra at the sound of her hungry daughter’s lusty cries.

“Oh, baby. Here, here. Mama’s here now. Let’s get you some dinner.” With that, she quickly draped a blanket over her chest and latched Sophia on to a nipple. The infant started eating greedily.

“I’m sorry Carol. We tried the formula, but she just wouldn’t take to the taste. We were just getting ready to call Daryl and see how close you were.” Annette’s apology was in the air as quickly as Sophia was now gulping.

“It’s ok. We were gone too long. It won’t happen again until we can get Sophia bottle trained. Gonna need it if I am going to be working and going to school, I guess.”

“No need for you to make that a requirement Carol, you can stay here as long as you want. You don’t need to worry about anything” Hershel soothed.

“No. I need to do something with my life. Daryl said today that you were willing to take me on here at the farm for a job? Is that still true?”

“Sure. We always need more help, especially with Bethie wanting to be out more as she gets older. Need help with milking, tending the animals, the gardens and the crops.”

“I don’t know anything. You would have to teach me.”

“Don’t worry about that none. Between me and Daryl and Merle, we will teach you all you need to know. Maggie too when she is here. She is busy at school most mornings but is here in the afternoons when not working in town. She is gonna take over the farm one day ya know.”

“She told me. She told me a bit about her program and her hopes of coming back here when you are ready for her to take over.”

Hershel nodded and turned to Daryl, pulling him over for a quiet word. “How did everything go with Rick? With Ed?”

“Ed’s in jail. Lookin’ at either life or death. Either way, he won’t be getting’ out.”

“Death? What other evil did that man do in order for the law to have that sort of option?”

Daryl just shook his head at Hershel in silent warning. The older man followed the younger’s gaze over to Carol who was cooing at a now calmer Sophia.

“Not my story to tell. It’s hers. All I will say is that Carol is a member of this group in more ways than one. And you of all people know what that can mean.”

Hershel’s eyes clouded over in grief and anger for the young mother. “Daryl, I know it’s her story. I won’t ask you to tell it, but I need to know what I am dealing with here with her. There are some hard decisions she will have to make in her future, and Annette and I don’t want to toe over the line between encouraging her and pushing her.”

Daryl could see the logic in that – knew that more than one abuse victim had crumbled under the weight of good intentions that felt like a push made of granite. Both men knew that even though being beaten can bring a lifetime of hell made up of self-doubt, that rape and sexual abuse almost always had a longer recovery cycle initially. So, Daryl let out a heavy sigh and acquiesced in a fashion at least. That didn’t mean he would betray Carol’s story. Even to another member, even if that member was Hershel.

“Treat her like you would have treated someone like yourself who had also been treated like Maggie had.”

Hershel paled. He got the unspoken meaning behind Daryl’s words immediately. “How hard do we encourage her?”

Daryl just put a hand on his shoulder, a gesture Hershel himself had imparted on the younger man countless times before. “She ain’t gonna break from this Hershel. She’s the strongest woman I’ve seen, even after goin’ through what she went through. Shoulda seen her. Woman’s got a pair of brass ones the way she stood up to Ed today.”

Hershel looked over at Carol and then back to Daryl. He nodded once, then the two of them walked back to mother and daughter.

“So, Carol, have you given any thought as to what you want to study in school? You are in a position now my dear where you can go anytime you want.”

“Not really, I’m afraid. I used to dream of being so many things. A nurse, a teacher, a librarian, even a writer. Now I’m not too sure. Right now, I need to just get some information from Maggie and figure out how the little miss here will fend without boobies for half a day to allow for class time.”

“Pump ‘em.”

Hershel, Carol and Annette all looked back at Daryl. His two words had burst forth with confidence although his face started to burn as soon as they left his mouth.

“I mean, you can use a breast pump like I stock all the time at Wal-Mart. For Sophia. To let her still have your milk while you’re at school or work.”

Annette nodded. “That’s true Carol. Daryl? Can you pick up a pump at Wal-Mart and some more bottles?” She turned back to Carol. “That would allow Sophia to still have breast milk, but we would have to get her used to a bottle. Maybe start pumping here and ease her into it?”

Carol nodded and looked down at her baby who was now dozing in her arms. “We could try I guess. It would let me work or go back to school. Hell, even if I didn’t do that right away, I will need to be out more to meet with Andrea on the divorce, Rick on the charges, or even with that prosecutor Michonne. But if you will excuse me, right now I am going to change somebody’s diaper, and then I can help you with dinner Annette. After that, I’ve got a phone call to make.”

Daryl followed Carol up the steps and into Sophia’s nursery. She didn’t say a word until they were inside. She turned to him and was surprised when he had his cell phone out to hand to her. “Take my phone. Make any call you need to. Hershel will help Annette with dinner. I will change Soph for ya.”

At her raised brow he laughed. “What? Hershel and Annette have had so many babies through here I am an expert in the field at ass changin’.”

He turned his back to her with Sophia in his arms. He had wanted to ask her who she was calling. As far as he knew, the only person she would have sounded so much like she was dreading to speak with was Ed. He knew that wasn’t happening, but he also knew it wasn’t his place to ask. He assumed she would take the phone into the hall or another room for privacy, but she didn’t. He only knew that when he heard the two words that came out of her mouth.

“Hi. Mom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Up:  
> We learn more about Carol’s mom.


	11. Mommy Dearest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol speaks with her mother. Introduction to my OC Connie Mason. Some insight into how Carol grew up.

“Carol? Carol, is that you girl?

“Yeah mom, it’s me.”

“You have a lot of nerve. You haven’t spoken to me in years, and now out of the blue you call. What do you need?”

“I don’t need anything mom. With how we left things, I felt it better not to stay in touch. Things are different now in my life. There have been changes, changes you need to know about. That is the only reason I am calling.”

“Well say your peace girl and get on with it.”

Carol took a deep breath, sounding exhausted to Daryl’s ears. He turned around with Sophia in his arms and made a motion towards the door that he was going downstairs to allow her privacy on her phone call. She just shook her head, so he stayed. He put Sophia down on he ground on a play mat and crouched over her engaging her in some tag toys.

“First thing is mom, is that I got married a couple years after you and I spoke last. It was sudden, and it was a very bad marriage. I am filing for divorce as we speak.”

“Serves ya right there, girl. You ain’t good enough to be anybody’s wife. A fuck on the side, maybe. But you ain’t no wife.”

“I was a wife mom. A very good one. I ran a house and did everything that you said a good wife was supposed to do. That was my first mistake.”

“So, me telling you how to be a wife and you listening was a mistake? How do ya figure that?”

“Because you told me a good wife was obedient. I was obedient. I listened to everything that horrible man said. I did everything he told me to do. And it didn’t matter, because he still beat me on the regular.”

“Well Carol, if ya didn’t do things right, ya musta made him mad.”

“He also raped me mom. More times than I can count.”

“Now Carol, I raised ya better than that. A man can’t rape his wife. You should now that. Now, I don’t condone no violence towards my little girl, but--.””

Carol cut her off right there. “Shut up mom. You listen to me. I was never your little girl. I was just a product of some short-term relationship. I was never worth anything to you, and you never let me forget just how much I ruined your life.”

“That’s not true! I took care of you your whole life girl. Put a roof over your head. Put food on the table. Made sure you got good grades at school. Don’t tell me you I wasn’t there for you.”

“¬¬Wrong. Whoever you happened to be banging at the moment put a roof over our heads. Did you ever stop and count how many times we moved when I was growing up? 18, mom. We moved 18 times that I counted since I was old enough to keep track. Anytime you and the flavor of the moment broke up. The only good times I can remember in my childhood are when we baked together. I was reminded of that fact just last night.”

“Don’t disrespect me Carol. I won’t have it.”

“I will tell you what you won’t have in a moment. But first, I also called to let you know that out of that hell of a marriage, I got myself a beautiful daughter. She is about a month old now. You don’t deserve to even be aware of her existence. Nor do you deserve the honor I bestowed on you when I named her Sophia – after your middle name. ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬However, I do have another reason for calling.”

“Like I said before, say your peace then.”

“I don’t know if we can ever have a relationship mom. However, I would like you to at least get the chance to meet Sophia – see if you have enough love for her that would force you to change your ways in how you treat me. Secondly, I want you to suck it up and finally tell me who my father is. I know damn well you know. You always said you didn’t know, but whenever I asked about him, you got a far away look in your eyes. You don’t do that unless you are remembering somebody. So, if you have any decency, any love in your heart for me, you will tell me who he is. I want to meet up with you. Give me a chance to bring Sophia to meet you, and you can tell me who his is at that time. I won’t be coming alone though. I will be bringing a friend with me. If you even try to be verbally abusive towards me or Sophia, we are gone out of your life forever. Understand me?”

Connie Mason just sat with the phone in her hands, stunned at what her daughter had just said to her. She had to admit that Carol was a firecracker. Always had been. And, she didn’t want to lose her daughter forever. She certainly wanted to meet her granddaughter. She blew out a puff of smoke from the cigarette she had been smoking, then swallowed hard before answering.

“Fine. When?”

“This Saturday. I am not coming to your house either. I also will not set foot in your town. I also will not be giving you any information on where I am living, so we will be meeting in another town. I will meet you in Senoia. There is a Starbucks there on 2nd St. I was there once with my husband, and it is easy to find. I will expect to see you there at 1:00. If you don’t show up by 1:15, I am gone and out of your life forever.”

“Shit. That’s quite a ways away for me Carol.”

“I don’t care. It is for me too. But it’s gotta be this way mom. So, Saturday at 1:00?”

“I’ll be there.”

With that, Carol ended the call. She turned to Daryl to see his eyebrows in his hairline. She felt she owed him an explanation. “Sorry Daryl, I must’ve sounded horrible to her.”

He just shook his head. “I’m just shocked as hell at ya woman. First today you stand up to Ed, and now ya own mom. Don’t know the whole situation – just your side of the call, but from what ya said it sounds like ya had a pretty shitty upbringing. Confronting the person responsible for that takes balls.”

“So, you’re not disappointed at the lack of respect I show my mother?”

“Hell no. I ain’t never got the chance to confront my pa. If I had, I don’t think I woulda had as much courage as you did just now. You impress me Carol.”

“Your dad? Was he the reason you are part of this group?”

Daryl nodded.

“What about your mom? Were her and your dad together when whatever he did happened?”

Daryl nodded. “She was at first.”

“Only at first?”

“I promise I will tell you everything. I will tell you my story Carol. My story and Merle’s story is the same – us being brothers and all. But not now. Now, we go downstairs and have some dinner with the family. Tonight, we will take a walk and I will tell you everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Up:  
> Daryl tells his and Merle’s story while out on a walk with Carol.


	12. Daryl's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary:  
> Daryl tells Carol his story as they go on a walk.

Carol followed Daryl along the fence line of Hershel’s property. She was not sure where they were wandering off to, but Sophia was asleep, and wouldn’t wake for at least four hours to be fed. Safe in the knowledge that her daughter would be looked after by the Greenes, she followed him through a gap in the fence and through a freshly cut field. It was then that Daryl started to speak.

“First thing ya gotta know about me and Merle is that even though we were abused, it weren’t always that way. Our mama . . . . she was a real southern belle. That was her name too. Belle Adams. She grew up going to all the right schools. Even went off to some fancy boarding school at one point. Her family had money and made sure she was treated well. Her parents were her only family, and they died together in a car accident when my mama was 19. She inherited their money which was nothin’ to sneeze at. She sold the family home in Virginia and moved down here to Georgia to start over in life. What she found was Will Dixon.”

Carol didn’t think Daryl even realized that he had flinched when saying his father’s name. She put a hand on his arm in silent encouragement. He allowed it, but then started walking faster, getting a step or two ahead of her as he continued talking.

“Will Dixon never did anybody any favors in life until he met mama. He straightened his act up enough to get her to agree to run off and get married. He didn’t have no family either except for his brother Buck, so it was just the two of them. Buck was off in California. I remember Merle told me once he remembers ma saying that it was her and pa against the world. I was too young to remember those days, but Merle does. When I was born, there was a problem or something. Mama needed an emergency c-section. Back then they didn’t test for a lot of things in blood that they do now. Mama ended up with Hepatitis from the blood transfusion. They knew it would eventually kill her. Guess she figured she was gonna die anyway, so decided to ‘live it up’ while she could. Started getting high, drinkin’ a lot. Will had done that before he met her, and it didn’t take long for him to get back into those habits.”

“And you and Merle were . . . “

“Right there for it all. We had a decent house until Will lost his job and insurance. Doctors bills, drugs, booze and cigarettes took what was left of ma’s money.”

“All of it?”

“Yep. That’s when Buck came back to Georgia. He showed up at the house and ma and pa were drunk and high off their asses. Merle was takin’ care of me best he could. I weren’t no more than two or three. Buck took us outta there. He bought a piece of property and put a trailer home on it and we lived with him. A few months later, ma and pa came by and convinced Buck that they were clean. They wanted us back. Buck agreed as long as they put a trailer next to his on his land. If he saw we weren’t cared for, he was takin’ us back.”

Here Daryl stopped talking for a moment. He seemed like he was gathering his courage for what came next.

“They weren’t clean. Nothin’ had changed, ‘cept maybe the fact that ma had started spouting off about getting’ a divorce and gettin’ us boys away from Pa whenever she was high. They went on that way for close to five years. They managed to keep their booze and drugs to night time hours where Buck wouldn’t see. But one thing did change when I was eight and Merle was seventeen. That is when Pa started in with the beatings. He would take his belt and lay into me and Merle somethin’ fierce. Didn’t matter that Merle was a big dude either – Pa still had that power over even him. Threatened us that he would kill Buck if we ever told him what was going on. He kept it to where the marks were covered by clothes, but I am pretty sure Buck suspected. Right around that time, he was questioning Merle big time on what was going on at home. But Merle was still scared of pa and kept quiet. It was me that told.”

“You told Buck?”

“Yep. It weren’t no slip either. I wanted to live with him again, so I told him one day before school. Then I got on the bus. When Merle and I got home that day, the trailer was on fire. Buck and pa were not there, and I remember thinking that was good – that nobody was home. Didn’t know my ma was in there.”

Carol shuddered at the image of a young Daryl coming home to that.

“Buck pulls up in the driveway about the same time as the fire trucks. Starts goin’ all ape shit – trying to get inside. He thought pa was in there too. But he wasn’t. He showed up about an hour later saying he had been hunting. After ma was buried, pa and us boys moved into Buck’s trailer. Merle and I missed our ma, even though she was a shitty ma – we still loved her. But then the beatings started again one day a couple weeks later. Buck was visiting friends in California for two weeks. Pa beat Merle and I so bad that he knew there was no way he would be able to hide the marks from Buck when he got home. So, Pa decided to take the coward’s way out, but not before he had the chance to tell his brother off. He waited for Buck to get home and started yelling at him that it was his fault ma was gonna leave him. That it was Buck’s fault for convincing mama to get the hell away from our pa, get clean and be a better ma for us.”

“Did he? Did Buck really convince her to leave before she died?”

“I think so. Merle and I came in from the back bedroom just in time to hear the end of the conversation. We heard Buck try to calm pa down. But then Pa pulls out his pistol. Says that nobody leaves Will Dixon. Not his wife, and not his kids. Said he set the fire that killed our ma to keep her from takin’ us. Was about to kill us too. But Buck got between us. Gun went off. Buck got a head shot – dead instantly. Then Pa turned the gun on himself – right after telling us that the two of us alone, on our own was the hell we deserved.”

“Oh, Daryl. I am so sorry.”

“No need for you to be sorry Carol. I promised I would tell ya the story, so now ya know. We came here to live with Hershel the same evening. He and Annette were registered as foster parents. Social worker saw how well we were getting on and let us stay until we aged out. It was Hershel that founded the group shortly after we came to the farm. He gave us a home. Has been more of a father to us than our pa ever was. So ya see, I know what it is like not to have the guts to stand up to your abuser. And I wanted you to know my story so you could understand just why I was so impressed with you talkin’ to your mom like you did. You stood up for yourself Carol. Something I never got the guts or the chance to do.”

As he was ending his story, they were walking up a field stone pathway that led to a log cabin style house. Ivy and flowers were wrapping delicately around the edges of the front porch. The yard was neatly maintained, and a motorcycle was parked off to the side.

“What is this place Daryl?”

“This is the house I had built. This is the first home I’ve had other than the one Hershel offers me. How bout it woman, want a tour?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up:  
> Daryl shows Carol his home.


	13. Empty Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N I am going to say right off the bat that this chapter is a little bit different for me. It delves into issues I think that canon Daryl Dixon wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. However, we are AU, and felt this is where the story wants to go.

Carol wandered down the path that led to Daryl’s home. She made sure to notice all the detail he had put into his home. Each room she entered practically screamed Daryl. His living room was a wonder of raised beams and open window plans. As she made her was down the hall, she passed a small room where he had obviously been sleeping. Down further she made it to the master room. A hand carved bed and mattress made up with sheets but no coverlet. It was an unfinished room in the fact that there were no decorations, no end tables, no dresser, nothing to announce who lived there. The next room was different. There was a hand-built crib, a hand-built changing table, and a hand-built rocking chair in the corner. It hit her then that while Daryl had built this home for himself to live in. He was leaving certain areas a blank canvas. He knew who he intended the rooms for, but that person didn’t exist yet in his mind. Same with the two rooms upstairs. So, for now, he lived in his bedroom and kitchen and bathroom. Waited for his life to begin. When she had seen it all, she asked the question she had been dying to ask.

“Who are the empty rooms for Daryl?”

“When I had them built, I had some story locked in my head that I would meet somebody. That we would fall in love, and that eventually, she would come to live with me. One day she would turn to me and announce “I’m pregnant” and life would move on from there. Stupid huh? I ain’t been with a girl since High School Carol. I don’t know what I was thinking having it all built like that. Just hopes and dreams I guess.”

“Merle filled his house without really trying. Everybody who saw him and Andrea knew it would be happening. And it did. Now I just gotta figure out what it is about me that keeps these rooms empty. What it is about me that keeps a wonderful woman like you from wanting a future with me.”

“Anyways, that’s the house. I come back here about half the time. The rest of the time I spend with the Greene’s. Here I am, a grown ass man, and I still stay with my foster parents part of the time. Doesn’t make for quite a good catch I am afraid.”

Before Carol could think up an adequate response, he was leading her away. Back out of the property he had worked on as his own, and back to the property owned by the Greenes’.

She knew she could make things better or make things worse with the question she was about to ask. She decided that she would preface the question with a moment of total honesty on her part.

“Ya know Daryl, even thought I have been married, I have never been in love.”

He turned at that and kind of grunted. “I got that feeling from you. No love left for those that beat us. Ed has his punishment coming. If you had loved him, I think that would have been the ultimate punishment. To see that a woman as fine as you could remove all love - gone from your eyes - would have hurt him the most.”

“But you never let me finish what I was going to say Daryl. I was going to say that I am capable of love. With all that bastard put me through, I know that if love presented itself to me, that I would not be too wounded to take it. I worry about you Daryl. I worry that you are ready to receive love, but that you are too scared to take it when it shows itself.”

“And what’s your point in all this?”

“I like you Daryl. And I am really putting myself out there in saying that I think you like me. So, I have decided to take some courses at Maggie’s school about self-identity. I want to learn to be me again. The real me. The class meets once a week at night. I am wondering if you would want to go with me? Maybe we can learn who we really are again. That way that house you are building will be waiting for the exact right person to come and fill your life with love. Whadda ya say? It’s a Monday night class for two hours. It won’t affect your hours at Wal-Mart or the farm. Honestly, I would love if you would go with me. I’m still kind of nervous about school, so this is the first class I registered for.”

“A Dixon in University. The old man would turn over in his grave.”

“Well, let him. Show him you can be a Dixon man the world can be proud of.”

“You really think I got that in me?”

“From the moment I met you, and you rescued me. Now you just need to work on you. Allow you to be the best damn Daryl Dixon the world ever saw.”

“And you will go with me?”

“Annette already paid both our tuition.”

“Hell then, let’s get this done. And Carol? Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter – Carol meets her mama


	14. Mamas and Their Daughters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally broke through writer's block. Not having a full time job to stress over has really helped. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

The drive to Senoia was filled with light hearted banter. First off, Maggie had insisted that she join Daryl, Carol and Sophia for the meet up with Carol’s mom Connie Mason. Then Annette had asked to come along as well. In her was of thinking, Connie may be able to benefit from a woman her own age being present in what was certain to be a tense discussion.

The addition of all these passengers made the ride a tight squeeze, but everybody was comfortable with the company. Daryl and Carol were in the backseat with Sophia between them in her car seat. Maggie was driving her Hyundai, and Annette was riding shotgun. Carol was only slightly overwhelmed with the situation, only because she trusted these people with her life and she hadn’t even known them two weeks yet. 

Daryl couldn’t help but notice that Carol had gotten quiet suddenly and had a look on her face that had him believing she was struggling with something. He waited for Maggie and Annette to be engaged in conversation between themselves before he leaned over and touched Carol on her arm. When she turned to him, he saw confusion in her eyes.

“What’s got ya all in your head there Carol?” He lightly began stroking her hand and up her arm, sending goose bumps throughout her body.

She stared at his hand and then took a moment to say anything, with Daryl patiently waiting her out. When she did speak, she did so slowly, as if trying to find the correct words. “Last night when you showed me your house you said something. Actually three somethings.”

“Aw Shit. I didn’t say anything stupid to offend ya did I?”

“No, nothing like that Daryl. It’s just what you said got to me . . . . . first you said you wanted to know what it was about yourself that kept a wonderful woman like me from wanting a future with you.”

“Yeah. I did.”

“Then when we were walking back to the farm, you said I was a fine woman.”

“Yeah . . . . “

“And when we were at your house you said you were not a good catch for a woman.”

“What’s your point here Carol?

“My point Daryl Dixon is that you are a fabulous catch that any woman would be lucky to have a future with in your like house. But, I am nothing special, Daryl. I wasn’t special enough to even keep a piece of shit like Ed happy. I may be making a lot of changes in my life, but in a lot of ways I am making the changes so that I can become that wonderful woman that you seem to think I already am. Somebody worthy of you and your future life in that house.”

“But you are . . . . “

“Please Daryl, I need to get this out. I told you that I liked you. I will always be your friend. But someday, when I actually am that wonderful woman you seem to see in me, I would like to be more. With you. But I just am not good enough yet for you. I know I will probably miss my chance, but I want to be the woman you see.”

Carol then turned her head away from Daryl and looked out the window. They were just entering Senoia, and she didn’t want her mom to see the tears that she was fighting back. She took some deep breaths to calm herself, all the while aware that Daryl was staring at her. To his credit, he didn’t try to get her to talk more.

As they pulled up to the Starbucks, Carol checked her watch. 12:50. She had ten minutes before her mom was scheduled to meet up with her. That gave her the opportunity to spell out how she wanted the meeting to go to her friends.

“Maggie, can you get a table for you, Annette and Daryl near to the one I will be sitting at? I don’t want my mom to be aware exactly who is with me, but I would like you nearby in case she starts pulling any bullshit. I may need the support.”

With the plan in place, Carol went into the coffee shop first with Sophia, which was a good thing because sitting at a two seat table already was her mother – Connie Mason. She hadn’t noticed that Carol had walked in as of yet. That gave Carol a moment to look her over. The side view she had of her mother was not a pleasing one. Her skin was mottled with bruises mostly healed over, her once vibrant long red hair that she insisted on keeping up with Clairol when grey started to settle in was cropped short and totally grey. She was tiny. It was almost as if her already small frame had sunk into itself.

Questions raged in her head, but she settled down and began walking across the room. She was aware of her friends now approaching the door to the coffee shop. She sat down at the chair across from her mom, but couldn’t find any words to say. She just stared at her.

“I know I look like shit Carol Ann. But you insisted we meet, and I didn’t want to miss the chance to see my granddaughter . . . and you.”

“Mama . . . . . what . . . .how . . . who did that to you?

“Guy I been livin’ with. Not no more now though. When he dropped me off here, he told me not to come back. It’s fine though Carol. I may look like shit, but I ain’t never had no problems finding a place to stay. Just looks like my next place will be here in Senoia.”

“With another guy you just pick up? God mama, haven’t you learned by now?”

“I don’t want to discuss this with you girl. Lord aren’t you the spittin’ image of my mama at this age. Beautiful.” 

She looked down at the car seat Carol had placed beside her. She could see the small fuzz of red hair cropping up on Sophia’s head. “Can I meet Sophia?”

Carol silently unbuckled the car seat while shooting a look over at her friends. They had not missed her mother’s bruised appearance. All of their faces wore looks of concern. When Carol stood with Sophia, she paused a moment before saying slowly “Over here mama. Let’s sit with my friends. Then we can talk.”


	15. A Place for Connie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol and her friends meet her mama for coffee

They had only been sitting at the table at Starbucks for five minutes before Annette couldn’t stand it anymore and went to the counter to get the group some coffee. They had all been sitting in silence while they watched Carol transfixed at how gently and lovingly she treated Sophia. Carol was almost struck by a pang of jealousy because she never could remember her mama treating her that way. Her mother’s work worn hands where carefully stroking Sophia. If Connie hadn’t turned her head, Carol as certain she would have seen a tear fall from her mama’s eyes.

Annette came back with the coffee and immediately put forth in a blunt way what they had to figure out to do next. Having Connie “wing it” as she liked to call it on the streets of Senoia to find a guy to put a roof over her head was not acceptable to her. She was also uncomfortable having her anywhere near the farm. Finally she spoke up.

“So’ Connie, we need to find you a place to stay. We have several options for you in this area. Our organization has members all over the state. What can you do for work?

“I worked in factories mostly. Sometimes just odd maid service jobs. I’m not afraid of manual labor. But I will not accept charity.”

Daryl piped up with the suggestion to the problem.

“What about Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene’s place? They just purchased another 120 acres, so their property is going to be huge. Know they are hiring to get the new land fit for planting. Cuz he’s in such a rush he built a worker’s cottage where people can stay after putting in extra long shifts. I can talk to him and see about getting you hired and dedicating on of the rooms at the cottage for you.”

Carol watched her mom’s reaction. She thought she saw just for a moment a flash of hope in her eyes. Then it was gone. She sat for a moment to gather her thoughts.

“I don’t know those people, and I am smart enough to know that I’m gonna have to get with one of them. Make sure that they are satisfied enough for me to stay. So, who am I gonna have to sleep with?”

Maggie leaned over the table and lightly placed her hand on top of Connie’s. She hoped that the gentle touch would make the older woman more receptive to what she had so say.

“All of us are members of a group that helps abuse victims. We take in people like Carol, and once they are on their feet again, they pass the help on to other victims. Abraham used to have just a small farm. He was not a member of our group. But then he met Rosita. She was escaping a bad situation, and Abraham took her in. She became a member of the group. They take in a lot of people. Some for a day or two, and there are others like Eugene who have been there for years. This would be a good opportunity for you to bet back on your own two feet and be successful. Be something your daughter and granddaughter could be proud of.”

Connie nodded her consent, and Daryl got on his cell phone and cigarettes. He went outside to smoke and talk to Abraham. When he came back, he was smiling.

“Abraham had some great news. They built an addition to their house as well. Turns out that Ms. Connie here has a choice. They have the regular jobs that we were discussing. But they also need somebody to take care of their house. They are so busy running around in the fields, nobody has had to energy to keep the place up.”

“So, she could be a maid or a field hand, is that what you are saying Daryl?” asked Carol.

“Exactly. Pluss she would have use of a company truck to run household errands and maybe one day to come and visit you and Sophia”

Connie was very receptive to the idea, but suddenly Carol realized he had not gotten the information she was seeking. She turned to her mother and held her gaze.

“Time’s up mom. You promised to give me information about my dad.”

Connie sighed and removed a large manila folder from her oversized bag. It was sealed. She held it close to her, almost hugging it as she looked at Carol intensely.

“All the information you could possibly want is here. I don’t want you to open in right away. When you do open it, you are going to need friends around you. Opening it will lead to heartbreak, that I can promise you. You have he power to finally get the answers, but I sincerely hope you never open it. The choice is yours

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Even though I have most chapters mapped out already, I want longer chapters, so I can't guarantee quicker than normal updates.


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